"I like my women like I like my coffee. Related to me."

And Natalie nearly snorts iced tea up her nose. I bought the Star Wars Holiday Special at Wizard World, and tonight Nick and I finally watched it. (Above comment came when we were wondering exactly how much makeup they put on Mark Hamill, and Nick declaring that he kind of looked like Eddie Izzard.) Oh my God. This thing. There was singing. I came away from it wondering if I was tripping. If you have Wookiees talking to each other for extended periods of time, why the hell would you not put in subtitles?! Yeah. It was bad, people.

Oh, and I'm kind of a redhead now. It's not red enough. Once it washes out a little (you know, where my scalp isn't this very interesting shade of orange), I'll see if I can post a picture or something.

How would you like your obituary to say you were killed by a gremlin with a chainsaw?

For those of you who were appalled that I have no real knowledge of the 80's classics (save for those in the John Hughes genre), I am watching Gremlins for the very first time tonight. The education begins here.

Adventures in Annoyance.

Last night I see that I have a letter I don't recognize that I got in the mail. So I open it, and it's from a collection agency. See, I used to have an account with the bank here at the Jewel, but my job has direct deposit somewhere else, and I never closed the account. Long story short, I had to close my savings account at the Jewel bank, and never noticed that the $15 they were taking from my checking to put in my savings every month was still getting taken out. Therefore, negative balance. Even though they just sent me something saying that the charges had been waived and I had a zero balance. I wrote the collection agency a very nice letter explaining the situation and that I was not paying anything until the freaking bank got their story straight. Let 'em come at me. I used to work for bastards just like them.

Then I come home and see that I have something from COD. I thought it was my class schedule. Instead it tells me that I'm not registered, that I supposedly dropped this class. That means I had to go and reregister completely. At least my payment from before is being used as a credit. Argh...

"The words 'chicken with its head cut off' come to mind."
"Cool! How can that not be cool?"
"If you're the chicken."

Today. One of those days that you go through and think, "If I have to do this the rest of my life, I pray to be the victim of a drive-by." GAH.

On the upside, I'm having a great hair day and I just spent $50.00 in books at Amazon. Mostly Pratchett. Money well spent.

I missed naked oiled Lex again. Why? Because my mentally challenged brain can't do time zones. Gah.

Very strange day at work today. Beth found out I hadn't seen Goonies (Kathe and Sarah, I will see this movie, I swear), and then adding it up to Willy Wonka as a classic 80's movie I hadn't seen, I completely shocked her. Then it led to a lot of "What about this?" or "This one?" This led to Beth, Gretchen, Shawn and Brett quizzing me on what I had and hadn't seen. For like, an hour. I was apparently in a hole for the 80's. But then Brett's asking me about movies like Casablanca, Rebel Without a Cause, etc., all of which I'd seen. Those all confused everyone else, so I won the whole argument. Gretchen still says she's bringing in Top Gun for me to take home and watch. Yeah, that's right, I haven't seen all of Top Gun. So stab me.

Cor blimey, I taste like Tea. I am a subtle flavour, quiet and polite, gentle, almost ambient. My presence in crowds will often go unnoticed. Best not to spill me on your clothes though, I can leave a nasty stain. What Flavour Are You?

Kimberley, should I be alarmed we keep getting the same things? Considering you're the one trying to addict me and all. < g>

Btw, for anyone who cares, I'm now officially a student again. Okay, it's for one acting class, but it counts.

Which flock do you follow?

this quiz was made by alanna

So I'm TRYING to register with the College of DuPage to get into an acting class. The site is really loving giving me problems. But I'm trying to take an improv course so I can put something new on my resume (plus I suck at improv), plus I can try to audition for the theater productions. We shall see... IF THE FREAKING SITE WILL EVER WORK!

And please, if any of you see my muse Jenavia, please send her back? She's the only one I can deal with, and I'm beginning to miss the hell out of her. Maybe with her around I can actually finish a Farscape fic or two... Lord knows the other five are no help...

Well, I tried to take the Daria test that I got linked up through in a roundabout way from Kimberley's blog (Kimberley, if you're reading this, you are addicting me to quizzes, girl). It wouldn't come up, but I got a 404 message with jane.html at the end, so I guess I'm Jane, and I'm not surprised.

Conchobar misplaced his muse. I wonder if he tried Bali...

Ever convince yourself not to be nervous, and you're fine with that, but the next day it comes back to bite you in the ass? I guess all the adrenaline I was working on yesterday finally took its toll. Fell asleep around 6 last night, woke up for an hour and went back to bed. When I woke up this morning I just Was Not Feeling Well. It all finally caught up with me. Also had a lot of dreams about trying to get somewhere and getting completely lost. That's okay. I'm gonna be find in the end, it's just going to be a hell of a lot of work.

And hey: DEEEEEEEEKAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! And here come the dirty, dirty thoughts... < g >

"So where did you learn to become a casting director? Did you go to Harvard School of Casting Directory?

So I am back from the acting expo. Long story short for Friday night: I'm an idiot, and I proved it while spending the night in an overpriced hotel myself. For example, I spent most of the time jumping on the bed. Because I'm 22 and mature. Saturday started out with me watching Planet of the Apes on HBO while getting ready, giggling at Scaper bad movie goodness.

The expo itself was tiring as hell. Got there at 8:15, went through opening ceremonies sitting next to a kinda Tobey-Maguire-like guy who kept staring at me, but that was fine. Watched a bunch of singers who were "discovered" there before (it's not discovering someone if you search them out. "Discovering" someone means seeing them in a store or something and saying "Hey! Can I cast you?"), and if anyone sees a CD for I think her name is Tanya Henderson? Let me know. I was getting original fic ideas listening to her.

The auditioning process wasn't grueling, per se, but tiring. You know how conventions are usually set up with dealers? That was the setup. You stand in line, and when you get there, you start reading. First one I was nervous and shaky, the second one I lost my place and somehow looped my monologue. By the third I was getting "Very good." Anyone who critiqued me at all was nothing but complimentary, but there were a lot of people who looked at my pictures and that was it. I just don't have the right look, apparently. Whatever. Luckily I can take rejection really well. No one was getting callbacks. I personally knew two girls who did, and a guy in front of me in one of the lines got one, but that's it. I was talking to some people about this, and I went, "At least we're in the majority," and the black guy in front of me turns around and goes "For once I want to be a minority!" < snerk > Everyone kept saying they're glad for the experience, but this was ridiculous. Can't say I don't agree...

Around 2:30 I got in line for this one agency, and didn't get out of line till 3:15. The woman there was so cool. She told me I have It, and once I hone my talent and shake off some of this rust I should have no problem, especially if I'm planning to move to LA. I ended there. There wasn't going to be a better note to end on. I mean, my self-esteem is still intact, cuz I didn't go there with any expectations, but that was just nice to hear. Talked with the Tobey Maguire guy Timothy some more, along with some really funny women, and I headed off to the hotel across the street to get Talyn. My feet screamed at me the whole time, so as soon as I got to the car I got my sandals out and put them the hell on.

Oh, and a note, especially to Sarah: As the World Turns was casting there. I was just giggling in the direction of where they should have been, but they didn't show. I'm like, dammit, I wanna get cast so I can skank on Paul Leyden!

So all in all, I've been on auditions. I got some great inspiring advice, met some great people, and I've got experience. I don't know if I'll do another one. Don't get me wrong, if you have the chance to go to one, do it. You never know. But I think I'll be sending my headshots out to all the agents I got the numbers of thanks to $20 and the nice people at the bookshop... < g>

I should be watching Farscape, but dammit I'm tired. Passing out now...

I can't stop blogging today. This is the last time, I promise. I have to bring five pictures of me to the thing tomorrow. I didn't have five pictures, so I got two headshots and three pictures that I had to take during the course of this week. Damn, I'm cute. < g > So that's done. Got my directions printed out (directions: drive the exact same way that you did to AirQuotesCon and Wizard World), got money from the ATM, I have my sides to rehearse...

Also, my horoscope for today:
Strike out and explore new territory. Get more new information about finances and/or health from friends in the know. You stand out in any crowd now, and you're looking good. Money and recognition continue to flow.

Dude, check that out! Wish me leg breakage...

Yeah, took a quiz. Because I was bored for two seconds.

Which Disney Princess are you?

But I'm not Belle's biggest fan. So I got

Which Disney Princess are you?

Which I like cuz Meg's been my favorite Disney character since I first saw Hercules. I can tie my own sandals and everything.

Oh, and Goldfly has become my favorite album, like, ever. Rocketship? (Aka the Crais and Talyn go boom anthem?) The best song in existence. So there.

I wasn't around last night. Tammy called as soon as I got home asking me to go out for a night with the girls. So I got to hang with her, and two of my friends from high school, Maggie and Brandi. I don't like hanging with everyone often, but every once in a while. Why? Because with the exception of Tammy, I always look the best. Hee. Brandi's gained a lot of I-have-a-boyfriend-so-I'll-let-myself-go weight, which kinda makes me happy. Plus I beat the hell out of everyone at Scrabble. And it's good for them not to see me often, cuz they really don't know how to deal with the fact that I've become a snarky bitch since high school. Though in all honesty, Brandi was having some fun with all my comments.

I go to Rosemont tomorrow. I'm going straight from work to the hotel, and then I have registration around 7:00. Then it's a night of memorizing and rehearsing (all by myself!) till Saturday, when I go on my first audition(s) ever. Looking forward to it, but I'm not nervous yet. That'll be Saturday morning when I'm flitting around like a maniac. Then I'll get one done and I'll be fine. Maybe I'll meet some cute guys. Maybe someone will sign me. Maybe I can finally get script sides from Never Been Kissed and Dirty Dancing the hell out of my head...

"Oh my God. Quit this job and become a florist."

< snerk > So that was my advice from Gretchen today. I put her birthday flowers in a pretty arrangement and apparently I'm good at it. So if acting doesn't pan out and I don't want to sit at a computer working my way to carpal tunnel, I can always become a florist, a wedding planner, or a cosmetologist. That last one's definitely winning out...

Corde, I could not be more on board with the LA thing. I want to be gone and moved after ScaperCon next year. It's my goal. I shall pay off my credit cards (and save them just for Scaper gatherings, dammit, because no way in hell am I missing any of them- I can find a job with a really relaxed schedule, come on, it's LA) and get the hell out of this insane repressed little culture I'm somehow stuck in.

I'm seeing a lot of Post-Scaper Depression. Yeah, I got it too. (MISS YOU! LOVE YOU!) I told my mom about how I don't seem to be happy unless I'm with Scapers, and she tells me she can tell. Gah. At least she's not trying to talk me out of going anymore.

And because I can't stop babbling, I had a dream last night where me and a buncha other Scapers opened an amusement park, and the Ferris wheel broke off and rolled around for the rest of the dream. I blame this entirely on Jimmy Neutron.

Came back from ScaperCamp, aka Déjà vu Con, aka Really Really Fucking Wet Con 2, aka Déjà vu Con. Had a great time, but I swear, as soon as I got back in my house I was instantly annoyed with everything. Little things, like if I drop a book and everyone in the house is asking me if I hurt myself. Then I go to work and it's the same deal. I've figured it out: It's gotten to the point where unless I'm around Scapers, I'm not happy. So that means I have to change the things that make me unhappy. Good for me.

Went to work extremely tired, with a headache and my leg and arm were killing me from the fall I took at the way-too-slippery rest stop yesterday. Within ten minutes, Beth's all "You're in a bad mood." Just because I don't feel 100% does not mean I'm in a bad mood. But she kept telling me that, and the people she'd say that in front of would start laughing when they saw me roll my eyes at her. She was cracking bubble wrap at one point, and I took it for five minutes straight before telling her to please stop. So she tells me I'm no fun and I haven't been for a while, to which I told her maybe I just grew up, and she should look into it. Maybe I have grown up. I know I'm at least a thousand times more focused. Either way, I just don't want to be like her.

But I got to hear "Bodies" coming home, so it's all good. Gets my vote for the #1 Therapeutic Song...

(Oh, and when I spell checked this? It came up with "Déjà vu Con" like 6 times. I snerked hard.)

"Ever get the urge to just get up on a table and dance?"

One last quick post before ScaperCamp. Wheee!!! One more day...

Yeah, weird day. For those of you who don't know, I've been a vegetarian for three years now: started out as an ick thing, and now I can't eat it. I get sick if I try. Well, Beth decides to go on this rant about how vegetarians are just picky eaters and it's all in their head. Thanks. And then Ken goes on this little rant about how I shouldn't get on the phone with this customer because "I know how you people are on the phone", then goes into this women-as-wimps diatribe. < sigh > I swear, every day I get more and more tempted to just say screw it all, get in Talyn and drive off to LA and stay there till the next Scaper gathering.

Saw Chris today, too. You know, I've figured out something about guys and how I react to them: You have to act really quick with me. Do not give me time to second guess you. That's exactly what happened here. He's still clearly looking, but I dunno. Any interest I might have had is gone. Plus he's still hedging, which never sits well with me. I started the whole dating thing with the guys in LA, the ones who would just straight out tell me they wanted to get together, and that's what I'd really rather. And yeah, so I know I'm not the best-looking girl out there. Don't care. I know I can do better, and I'm gonna try. I've never been one to settle, and I'm not going to start.

But I got my Amazon delivery today. Got the 2.1 season of Farscape, and V. A lot of V. Happy Natalie...

"I am the lizard queen!"

"It's just flooding all over the world."
"What's that they say in the Bible?"
"Forty days and forty nights."
"No one said it had to be consecutive."
"Um, I think God kind of implied it."

Yeah, interesting day at work. A customer came in to look at stuff and brought her two little girls, who were just adorable and playing. Gretchen and I stopped working for like an hour just to listen to them. She says one of them looked like me: "Madeline. The dark-haired one. The bratty one." Figures.

Wore my Sunshine shirt today. I've noticed that it gets guys to tell me how cute I am. I've also figured out that it gives them an excuse to stare at my chest, because as one coworker put it, "Our eyes are drawn to shiny things!" < sigh >

Any day that starts out with me giggling and bouncing watching Dopplegangland can't be bad.

Mucho thank you to Kathe for making me feel so much better on the Amanda thing. Love you, K.

I love Life as a House. Today I fast-forwarded through it (though continued to laugh) just to see all the parts with Hayden Christensen in the shower. "I'm not gay. I mean, hello!" < snerk > Well, at least I know Corde will get that. < g >

And thusly, I am carried off by my damn Sim-inspired Muses.

See, I may have figured out why I watch this damn show: Watching these girls drunk and hung over? Makes my little escapade at SC2001 not seem so bad...

I'm watching Sorority Life. How the hell did I become addicted to this show? I hate it, yet at 9:30 every Monday, I need to watch it. Shan told me I looked and acted like one of the girls on it, Amanda. Then Kathe told me the same thing. So I started watching, and please tell me I'm not that annoying. But she is the only girl on there I don't want to strangle. (Don't even get me started on Jessica. Hate her.)

Anyway. I bought the DVD of Life as a House. Hayden Christensen in a shower a couple times. Yeah, baby.

Yeah, I'm supposed to be seeing Rob Zombie right now. Which I'd like, but too bad. So Beth and I got into it, but I don't care. She'll get over it. I won't feel bad anymore. On the bright side, I seem to really be getting over the Scaper It's-Not-Freaking-Funny-Anymore Syphilis. Woo hoo! I feel good, though. Myself again. And I'm having the best hair day of my life. I like having my 'tude back and everything. I even splurged and bought a Queen greatest hits CD to celebrate.

I finally got all my info from NYC Fame for the acting expo. I have my sides to look over, I need to take a couple pictures, and I reserved a hotel room. Either I'd have to register at 7 Friday night and come home, or I could wake up at 5 am, get dressed and drive back to Rosemont and register there, or I could check into the hotel Friday night, register when I want, and come home right afterwards. Yeah, I'm taking the easy way this time. It'll also be the first time I spend a night in a hotel by myself. I'll just be glad for the alone time.

Okay, time for Natalie to bitch. Beth and I are supposed to go to Ozzfest this weekend, and I'm this close to telling her to give my ticket away. I'm sick to death of her snotty little comments. I was off sick yesterday due to the Scaper Not-So-Funny-Anymore Syphilis, and today I was feeling like crap, plus I had this horrible headache. She's kind of blaming me for not being there, even though I did apologize, which I didn't have to do. She doesn't believe I'm sick. Apparently I can't be sick for a week, it's not normal. She started on me because I don't like to go to the doctor (they never examine you for what's really wrong, they stick you on medication right away, whether you need it or not, and I've been misdiagnosed by the same doctor twice now. And let's not even get into the insurance part of it), and I told her I'm sick of being told it's all in my head. So she tells me maybe it is all in my head. Bitch. You come here and deal with the backaches and jaw pains, dizziness, headaches that they told me were nothing and see if you still say that.

So I still have this headache and she started one. Jokingly I tell her, "You're stealing my story!" Note that I'm smiling when I say this. It's not like something you say over E-mail where your inflection and expression can't be seen. Shawn was up there at this point, and she's all "Natalie's the only one allowed to have a headache." Apparently she thinks I'm this self-centered know-it-all. Shawn, very clearly is joking around "We should start a new game show: Stump Natalie." Cuz he knows I can act like a dummy anytime, and he knows when someone's joking around. Beth's still taking pokes at me, so I told her that when I say stupid stuff like "Yeah, it's all about me" (and hello, I'm a sarcastic bitch, and very obvious about it) I'm joking. Her response? "Like you don't believe it." Oh, what the fuck ever.

Now, I admit, I do have a good amount of confidence in myself. Took about twenty years to get it, but I have it. And I admit to being a little self-centered (though Nick tells me I think I'm a lot worse than I really am). But I'm not as bad as all that! I'm not sorry that I don't have to tear people down to make me feel good about myself. This is the same girl who decided for two days that she could be a model and make her ex-boyfriend feel like trash. She thinks it's all his fault, but dude, it takes two. There was a reason he was never home with her. It's not like I don't like Beth, I do, but every once in a while she'll get in these moods, and I don't react well to purposely snarky comments about me. I snap back, and I won't be sorry about it. Welcome to Natalie's Verbal Defense System. Those of you who have seen me mad know how hard it is for me to keep myself in check sometimes, yet I have. Because I work with her all day, every day. But oh my GOD. Friday she wants me to come to work, follow her to her apartment, stay overnight, and then Saturday morning we can drive to the concert. Gah. I can't spend that much time with her. One more comment and she can scalp my ticket. I don't care if I see $40 go down the drain. < sigh >

IN OTHER NEWS: ScaperCon write-up is done, but I don't have the pictures done or anything yet, so I have not put it anywhere yet. Oh, and I'm still looking for a good FTP. I stole Fetch from Nick, so it should work fine. And believe it or not, I managed to lose five pounds after ScaperCon, because I've been sick and have eaten nothing but crackers and yogurt. Oh, and water. Can't forget water...

"Hit her. Listen to the voices in your head."
"Hey! The voice in my head is currently Scottish!"

Why, yes, I am procrastinating typing more of the quote list, why do you ask?

So I managed to catch the Scaper Funny Syphilis (tm Käthe. Spent work today in this weird haze with a headache and cough that got progressively worse. Meanwhile Beth kept telling me how much I was complaining (and I wasn't. Even if I was, she's such a princess when she's sick...) and telling me I was in a bad mood, which is the surefire fastest way to put me in a bad mood. Gah.

Also had several people ask me if I'm anorexic because I was feeling too sick to eat at the work barbecue today. Sigh. I got my ScaperCon pictures back yesterday and had enough of a body issue crisis, I don't need more to add onto it. Whatever. It bothers me since I haven't even thought about my weird crash diets since before December and somehow people always assume, even if they don't know anything. Again, whatever. I'm doing okay for once, dammit. If I feel up to it, I will head to the gym tomorrow and get myself started. I already have a dress I want (yes, I am tentatively planning ahead, so stab me) and I'm going to be better. I lost 5 pounds at ScaperCon, so I'm doing good.

Also, in case you were wondering about Chris, the guy from work? He came in around 7:30 yesterday, so Beth never even saw him to say anything embarrassing about me. Good. She asked again if she should ask him, and I told her no, we're not in junior high. I can handle my own disasters, thankyouverymuch.

“Despite my performance earlier and this performance, I am a very nice girl.” -Elnea

Back from ScaperCon, though I really don't want to be. I had a blast, though now as I'm trying to remember everything that happened on what day, I'm not really sure about anything. Whatever. I will have a whole write-up eventually, but that probably won't be till the weekend. I was good, though. You know how I said I wasn't going to sacrifice my own happiness for others for once? I held through on it, and I had a great time. There are things I wanted to do and people I wanted to spend more time with, but overall, I'm happy.

-There seems to be a quota for cute guys working at the Cincinnati Marriott.
-Glitter dresses are pretty, but they will kill your arms while dancing.
-I have found my limit while drinking. Go, me.
-Scapespeare can be put together at the very last second and still be pretty damn good.
-Never trust me or Corde to be able to get somewhere from memory. I don't think it can happen.
-Fruity Booty sounds better than it is.
-Only Shaye can pick up Jehovah's Witness Scapers in Chili's.
-Never be the last to leave. Let me tell you how depressing *that* was.
-Don't bother putting on makeup the last day. There's no freaking sense in it.

So I'm home, I'm good. Went back to work today but damn near slept through it. I walked in, and Terry from the warehouse comes up to me saying, "Why didn't you tell me where you were going?" I told him he didn't ask, and it turns out someone told him I was going to a Scifi convention. He kept asking questions about whether or not I dressed up, if I was in any of the plays, whether I got to meet Virginia Hey or not... It's cool. And I'll be fine, even though I'm still a little weepy at leaving everyone. We'll be at Rona's in a couple weeks, so I have something to look forward to. Till then, I have pictures to look at and a wrist cramp from typing up 20 pages of the quote list so far...

“We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of our energy...” -violettefrost