Sometimes my dad amuses the hell out of me. He got a DVD player with a brand new spanking sound system, and he's become a DVD demon. Seriously, he started watching Spider-Man and Star Wars yesterday, and today he's gone through Jurassic Park, Frequency, X-Men, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, and now he's got Pitch Black in. Every time a movie ends, he's standing in the hall going "More movies! More movies!" I told him to say the magic word, and his only response is "The magic word is gimme!" So my DVD collection is currently depleted so he can see everything. It's amusing, and it just made Christmas shopping for him a hell of a lot easier... < g >

Which Recurring Buffy Character Are You?
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Huh.

I worry about money too much, which I really shouldn't. I seem to be one of those people who always finds money when I need it. And then I look at apartment stuff for the move to LA (nine months to go!) and wonder where I'm going to get it all. And then I think about how I moved there before with so much less than I have now, and somehow I lasted six months. I think it was because I didn't know any better. No one told me I couldn't do it, so I went ahead and did what I could as a clueless 18-year-old on her own till I was dragged back kicking and screaming. I know come August, I'll be fine and ready to go, but until then I think I'm going to be a lil bit worried.

That being said, watching Divorce Court can be pretty entertaining.

Hey, you know what's fun? Being evil.

Today was another Piss Me Off Day at work. I scare people real well. They back the hell off quick when I get in one of those moods. I notice even Beth won't talk to me then, and she backs away when I walk by. Hee. For anyone doubting that I'm going to end up as Granny Weatherwax some day, this is further proof.

Now if only I could do something about Mother Nature. It snowed from the moment I got to work, until I left. I hate snow. It looks pretty on postcards, but it's cold, wet, it gets in Talyn's tires, it freezes and I have to scrape it off my car, and it sucks ass. Last winter here, I swear...

Found out today that my friend Michelle, who I've known since kindergarten, is getting married. Definitely am happy for her. She deserves a little bit of happy. Of course, it does make me feel old.

Oh, and Beth is back at work from a week of being sick. She told me the reason the doctor knew it was mono was because she had an inflamed spleen. Serves her right.

I now own all the Discworld books up to Thief of Time (which I skipped ahead to read- Laurie, I see what you're saying about Miss Susan. She's killing me). And lemme tell you, the trip to B&N was totally worth it if only to flirt with the cute guy at the checkout counter. Yum. Anyway, I have no room to put them all anywhere, as my actual bookcase is filled with Vorkosigan and Star Wars books, along with everything else I have nowhere to put. Therefore the Pratchett books are stacked in one huge tower on top of my little 13" TV. The Leaning Tower of Pratchett. It's taller than I am. I just spent way too long trying to stack them all into a nice straight tower, but let's face it. At 4 am some random morning I'm going to hear a crash and see them all have fallen around my dresser. If you blow on the Tower, it shakes. It's still shaking right now. And yet it's one of the most oddly amusing things I've ever seen.

I always forget how much fun it is in Hanniganite chats. I mean, it's just cool. Last night we slashed the Babysitters Club, quoted Izzard, basically retreated to our childhood, and I got to report on how Nick, tired from not sleeping for about a week, was saying "Ook" a lot and trying to pick things up with his feet, after comparing himself to the Bursar.

And while I'm not really sure why Oxygen has been showing every Hitchcock movie ever made, I'm glad to see them. I'm watching Vertigo right now. See, I may not have seen any of the 80's staples, but damn if I didn't grow up on Hitchcock and Natalie Wood and Bette Davis. Good stuff.

So I'm in the Hanniversary chat, and we're talking Baby-Sitters Club. This stuff just follows me around.

Quiz
created by Polly Snodgrass.

WATER OF AIR. You're aloof, depressed and seasoned. You'd make a good psychologist, executioner, black widow, arsenic poisoner, heretic queen or commentator. You're too witty for your own good. Have to get up early in the morny morn to fool you, as you spot lies a mile away. And WOE TO THOSE who dare attempt such a stupid move. You're Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween, when she cuts Michael's head off. You're Anne Robinson, the host of The Weakest Link!

Damn. I can't be that bad...

Oh my God, people. Today was proof that Natalie Has Anger Management Issues. The fact that I didn't punch a customer was such a testament to my self-control.

Everything I watch and read is crossing over in my head. You know the Death and John Crichton thing I mentioned (which I did start on)? I want to do one for Buffy. Also on the insanity fic roster:
-The Angry Chicks With Dead Family Members (Jaina Solo, Kitty Pryde, Huntress, and one of my originals) getting together and having a bitch session.
-Daria Morgendorffer and Susan Sto Helit baby-sitting together.
-John Crichton and Jacen Solo comparing insanity stories.
-Aeryn and Granny Weatherwax having a good heart-to-heart (read Lords and Ladies and that will make a lot of sense).
-Rose and Delia from Everwood on the play date from hell. (Maybe Susan and Daria could sit for them- Ooh.)
-Cordelia Vorkosigan and Leia Organa Solo exchanging "When I thought *my* kid was dead..." stories.

This is my brain, people. And Jena's not even cackling. She's sitting in a corner, staring and smiling evilly. Bitch.

Scott: "I understand, sometimes you have to do things like dye your hair to make up for what you're missing in life."
Cassandra: "How would you know? You have no hair."

Class tonight was okay. Nothing special, cuz half the people weren't there, and we ended class by talking and talking and talking about the play we saw last week. And my bathroom buddy Cassandra and I have also discovered that we have a shared problem with cutting ourselves the hell open at work doing things like filing.

While I'm babbling, I have tried to avoid saying it, but I have to: Stone Temple Pilots' "Sex Type Thing" could not be any more of a John and Scorpy song. Ignore the title and the words work slashably or non-slashably. I was vidding in my head on the way home, please hit me.

"I'm not a violent person, but I threatened to put a guy's head through a window."

Okay, I did this thing that we call snapping today. My brain broke. My day was all fine and good until I helped Gretchen's workload by doing a charge for her, and ended up on hold with the credit card company for 45 minutes listening to a cheerful-to-the-point-of-medication operator tell me my call is very important every ten seconds (only to find out that the only number we had was the wrong one), and that was it. I overheated or something. By 3:30, Gretchen and I had come up with songs for our very own musical, called Bahr! I do the backup singing.

Oh, and I hope Keifer Sutherland doesn't have a wife or girlfriend or anything. Because I'm going to start planning the wedding, and I'm sure in the course of my stalking him in the next few months, we'll get to know each other. And if it doesn't work out, maybe he can introduce me to the guy who plays Tony on 24.

So first everyone at work gets pneumonia. Now Beth's got mono. While I'm more than happy to get rid of her for a while, I fear for my immune system.

You know you're addicted to Terry Pratchett when... I read Hogfather. Went to the mall. Damn near laughed myself to tears when I saw Santa. Oh, and I've decided I kind of want to write some kind of fic where Death meets up with John Crichton. < sigh >

"I'm surprised anyone could hear anything over my stomach. If my stomach was a gesture it'd be going like this < insert shaking clasped fists type of hand gesture here >." -Cassandra

"I guess Melody and her Carlo aren't coming- Hey, my butt is vibrating!" -Scott

Thursday was the play, where I had to sit next to Sean's girlfriend (you know, the cute tiny girl who refused to take off her coat and scarf the whole time and sat staring straight ahead with her hands in her lap all night). But Jim did make a point to say hi to me, I fell down a stair in the bathroom (it was missing a damn "step down" sign), and lemme tell you something. For someone who hates driving in Chicago, damn if I don't drive like I haven't lived there all my life. Nick and I left at 6, and the drive took an hour and a half. It was supposed to take 30 minutes. Then we drove past the place and had to turn around on Lake Shore Drive, and pretty much ran to the place, with no real idea of where we were going. I was making my own lane, making left hand turns without being able to see what was coming from either direction... I can be an asshole driver when I wanna be.

Tammy: "You know what they are? They're like that Japanese torture thing where they drip water on your forehead."
Me: "Chinese water torture?"
Tammy: "Yes! Maggie and Carrigan are Chinese water torture."

And then Tammy and I went to Boogie Nights for that whole thing with Beth. We got there around 7:30, I was home by 8:15. We both got hit on upon entering the club, said hi to Beth and Gretchen, wandered around to find Carrigan and Kristin, and by this time we'd been there five minutes and Tammy's telling me "We can go whenever you want." I had Tammy fake sick and we got out. I'll hear about it from Beth on Monday, but I don't care. She was too drunk and/or high to probably remember. Oh well...

"I'm schizophrenic, so I want ass?" -Katie

"You'd think by now people with behavioral disorders would know not to go on blind dates." -Scott

Scott: "Without anything to do, you sort of resorted back to trying to entertain us."
Eric: "Oh. My defense mechanism."

"I'm too tired for you people tonight!" -Scott

"Marry me or I swear I'll raise the stakes!" -Colin

"Is there anyone here I haven't felt up?" -Me

Home early from class tonight, cuz we didn't have a lot of people. Started off with one of those human knot things, which had me wedged between most of the guys in the class, most of them having hands in places they didn't need to be during class, and Tim kept moving so that my hand was on his ass practically the whole time. Pamela and I did our scene, watched a bunch of others, and I like Jim. He's one of those guys you just want to hang out with, plus he's cute. (Btw, Sean? Yep, girlfriend. Though he was saying he had to break up with her, and maybe he should start dating older women < looks toward me >. Yeah.) And then tomorrow I'm supposed to go to a play in Chicago with all of them, and I'm dragging Nick to be my navigator. Should be fun...

Between Pratchett and Eddie Izzard, I may be turning British. Someone stop me from letting "bloody" become my favorite adjective. (Remembering the whole bloody stigmata thing the whole time...) And I'm thinking in a British accent, too.

We at work have decided Beth has no soul. I'm sorry, 6 months after you and your boyfriend break up, when you hang around with him just to see how miserable he is, that's evil. I declared her soulless, and everyone agrees with me. Ha.

For three years I have been teased by COD. They have a stage makeup class that I have been looking at for three years. Three years, people. It has never been offered at a time that I could take it. I can't take off work for this, so there goes that, and there's only one class.

This is where the jaded of you will think they're not going to offer it anymore.

After three years, they finally are offering it on Monday nights.

Life can be good sometimes.

Oh, and Buffy? EVIL. Jane is a sadist. Yay on Star Wars quotage and the Cute Vamp, and a certain former Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane alumni that is not Michael Rosenbaum. But EVIL. Eeeeeevilllll...

Oh, and more? No shirtless Sloane this week, thank any god you choose. Got some cute Sydney/Vaughn non-action, though. Firefly? I can't believe that show has me not hating the sibling shippage. That's not right. Joss, you're weird. Sarah may have addicted me to John Doe based on a cute Aussie. Like that's hard to do by now. I have witnessed both Top Gun and Shag. I have some Christmas shopping done. And since I just saw the up and back fractured fairly tale from Kathe, I giggled at cows the whole way home.

Jenavia's back. Don't get me wrong. I love Jena. Stiletto aside, she's the best muse I could ask for. But she gets me with stuff. I got hit on my way to Iowa, on my way back from Iowa... And she thinks it'd be really cute to have the boys from Farscape do the whole full monty thing. Yeah, you read that right. I have notes, dammit. This is what I'm stuck with, people. And we all wonder why I'm insane and useless...

Everyone on the road who's not me sucks. Made the drive back from Iowa in 4 and a half hours, most of which was spent complaining. At one point I actually screamed the words "Get thee the fuck back you foul wench," which I choose to blame on Rob Zombie, who was blasting from my CD player at the time.

(Btw? Striptease is not the song for me to drive to. Not only do I tend to speed badly during it because I'm busy dancing to it, but if you listen to it loud enough there's this one chord that sounds a little like a siren, which scared the hell out of me the first six or so times I listened to it on repeat...)

"Every time I eat carrots, I get them stuck in my nasal cavity."
"Maybe you should try putting them in your mouth."

"I usually don't like Guinness, but I'll get it there every time. And then not eat anything for two days because it's a meal in a can all by its little self."

Natalie stayed home sick from work and watched Popular all day. Natalie stayed home from class. Yeah. Actually, so did a lot of people. Our class is eight people tonight. I turned in my paper, paid for my play tickets, and left. Which took a while, because I drove around for 40 freaking minutes just trying to find the parking space. I ended up past the SRC, which is a five-minute really really speedwalk away from the Mac, where I'm supposed to be. So after all that fun stuff, I actually feel worse than I did when I left, but at least I get to see Birds of Prey when it actually runs.

For the record. Who else did not need to see Arvin Sloane without a shirt?

I want to know how my relaxing weekend left me with absolutely no time on my hands. It's annoying.

Friday Nick and I went to see Star Wars on the Imax. (Yep- fifth time seeing it.) Okay, if there is a movie that should be seen on one of those things, that is it. Although thanks to certain people ("He's the one with the crooked lightsaber.") I was giggling into the opening scroll. Although when I'm sitting there trying not to laugh at Darth Vader's bestiality thing, I'm going "Hey! They cut out the entire meadow picnic!" Yeah, a lot of the Anakin/Padme stuff was cut, which pissed me and a few of the other rabid fans off. But it was cool.

Oh, wow, they still show Roy Dupuis' ass on Oxygen. Didn't expect that...